In principle, parents have the right and the duty to bear responsibility (parental custody) for their children. Married couples automatically have joint custody. In the case of unmarried parents, this is initially the mother. However, the father can apply for custody and the mother is asked for her opinion, but since 2013 she no longer has a right of veto. In the event of a dispute over joint custody, the family court decides. Mothers who are not married to the child's father and do not share custody with him receive a so-called "negative certificate" if required.

Children of underage mothers are usually assigned a guardian who assumes legal representation. Guardianship is appointed by law by a family court. If no relative was named before the birth of the child, the youth welfare office steps in.

Since 2017, two people have been able to enter into a marriage in Germany regardless of their gender. This legal form includes almost all the rights of heterosexual married couples with regard to tax law, family law and custody, such as joint adoption rights. If a female couple has a child, only the biological mother is entitled to custody. Her partner still has to go through an adoption procedure to become the legal parent.

In principle, both parents retain custody after a separation or divorce and must decide together where the child should live in the future, how contact rights should be organized and how problems should be solved. In this separation situation, you should always strive for amicable solutions, especially for the children. In principle, one parent can also apply to the family court for "sole custody", either for all parental custody or for only a conflict-ridden area. Such an application is usually granted if the partner agrees or if this is in the best interests of the child.

Seek advice and support in these often very conflictual and stressful situations! See contact points under the heading "Advice and support".

The father of a child is initially deemed to be the man who is married to the child's mother, has acknowledged paternity or whose paternity has been established by a court. If a child is born in the course of divorce proceedings, a third party can also be established as the father if necessary, provided that this person acknowledges paternity and the spouses still married agree. This must be officially recorded (e.g. at the youth welfare office, registry office or notary). If no divorce is pending, paternity must be contested and established in court. In the case of an unmarried mother, paternity can be recognized in a document or established by a court. As part of a guardianship, the youth welfare office can support her in clarifying paternity and representing her in court.

Regardless of how custody of your child is arranged, each parent has the fundamental right and duty to have contact with the child, and the child also has the right to have contact with both parents. This also applies to grandparents and other caregivers such as step-parents and foster parents, provided it is in the child's best interests. In the event of disagreements about contact, local advice centers can help you. If no agreement can be reached, the family court will also decide here.

The maintenance claims of minor children generally take precedence over all other maintenance claims. Under certain conditions, this also applies to the maintenance of adults up to their 21st birthday who are still in school and live in the parent's household. The parent with whom a child lives generally meets their maintenance obligations by looking after and caring for the child. The other parent is obliged to pay cash maintenance. The amount of maintenance depends on the personal and financial circumstances and the age of the child. The so-called "Düsseldorf table" provides a guideline. Sole custodians or parents in whose care the child lives can also apply for support from the Youth Welfare Office to assert maintenance claims as part of a guardianship.

Your child/children are entitled to advance maintenance payments or payments in arrears up to the age of 18 if the parent with whom they live is single, widowed, permanently separated or divorced (but not remarried) and the other parent does not pay maintenance.

If you are unable to work due to caring for the child, you are entitled to spousal/carer's maintenance. As a rule, this applies until your child's third birthday, or longer if necessary, for example in the event of illness or intensive care needs. The social services department (support services) will also advise you on this if the other parent's "deductible" is not sufficient to cover the maintenance.

A "pension equalization" also takes place in divorce proceedings. This is where the pension entitlements of the (ex-)spouses that were acquired during the marriage are equalized and determined for your pension entitlements.

As a single parent, it can be particularly useful for you to make a disposition at the local court, with a notary or as part of a guardianship with the Office for Social Work as to where the child should live if something happens to you. For example, you can designate a person other than the other biological parent in your will to receive custody. In the event of your death, the family court can then decide to whom parental custody should be transferred.

In principle, parents, children and young people are entitled to expert, confidential and free advice on all issues relating to parenting and living together under the Child and Youth Welfare Act. This also includes questions about partnership, separation, divorce, parental care, rights of access or maintenance, for example, if you are faced with many (legal) questions in the event of an impending separation. Numerous institutions in Wiesbaden offer advice and support in these cases.

The advice centers listed above can provide you with information on the basic legal situation. However, only lawyers may provide binding individual legal information. However, these are subject to a fee. If you are on a low income, you may be entitled to advice and legal aid. An application can be made to the local court. Further information can be found here: