In principle, parents have the right and the duty to bear responsibility (parental custody) for their children. Married couples automatically have joint custody. In the case of unmarried parents, this is initially the mother. However, the father can apply for custody and the mother must give her opinion. Since 2013, however, she no longer has a right of veto. In the event of a dispute over joint custody, the family court decides.

Children of underage mothers are usually assigned a guardian who assumes legal representation. The guardian is appointed by a family court.
The youth welfare office acts as guardian if no one from the family was appointed before the child was born.

Since 2017, two people have been able to marry each other in Germany regardless of their gender. They then have almost the same rights as heterosexual married couples. This applies in particular to tax law, family law, custody and adoption law.
If a female couple has a child, only the biological mother is initially entitled to custody. Her partner still has to go through an adoption procedure in order to become a legal parent.

Following the introduction of the Gender Self-Determination Act (SBGG) (11/24), an interim solution currently applies to parents of transgender, intersex and non-binary persons. In the case of maternity, it is still the birth of the child that counts and in the case of the judicial determination of paternity, it is the procreative contribution.

In the event of separation or divorce, both parents generally retain custody. They must then decide together where the child should live in the future, how contact rights should be organized and how problems should be solved.
In principle, one parent can also apply to the family court for sole custody.
Such an application is usually approved if the other parent agrees or if it is in the best interests of the child.

Get advice and support in this often very conflict-ridden and stressful situation! See contact points under the heading "Advice and support".

The father of a child is initially the man who is married to the child's mother, has acknowledged paternity or whose paternity has been established by a court.
The acknowledgment of paternity, e.g. of a third party during divorce proceedings, must be publicly notarized (youth welfare office, registry office, notary). In disputed cases, the court decides. As part of a guardianship , the youth welfare office can provide support in clarifying paternity and representation in court.

Regardless of how custody of your child is arranged, each parent has the fundamental right and duty to have contact with the child, and the child also has the right to have contact with both parents. This also applies to grandparents and other caregivers such as step-parents and foster parents, provided it is in the child's best interests. In the event of disagreements about contact, local advice centers can help you. If no agreement can be reached, the family court will also decide here.

The maintenance claims of minor children generally take precedence over all other maintenance claims. This also applies to the maintenance of adults up to their 21st birthday under certain conditions.
In most cases, one parent is responsible for the care and maintenance of the child who lives with them. The other parent pays maintenance according to their financial circumstances.

The custodian can apply for support from the youth welfare office (Beistandschaft) in order to assert maintenance claims

Children up to the age of 18 are entitled to advance maintenance payments or loss of maintenance payments if the parent with whom they live is single, widowed, permanently separated or divorced (but not remarried) and the other parent does not pay maintenance

If you are looking after a child and are therefore unable to work, you are entitled to spousal/carer's maintenance. This entitlement is valid until your child's third birthday, in certain cases, such as illness or intensive care needs, even longer.
The social services department (Beistandschaften) can also advise you on this if, for example, the other parent's "deductible" means that the maintenance is not sufficient.

A "pension equalization" also takes place in divorce proceedings. This is where the pension entitlements of the (ex-)spouses that were acquired during the marriage are equalized and determined for your pension entitlements.

As a single parent, it can be particularly useful to designate another person to whom parental responsibility for the children should be transferred if something happens to you. You can do this in your will at the local court, with a notary or as part of a guardianship at the Office for Social Work or as a disposition. In unclear or disputed cases, this can be decided by a family court

In principle, parents, children and young people are entitled to expert, confidential and free advice on all issues relating to parenting and living together under the Child and Youth Welfare Act.
This also includes questions about partnership, separation, divorce, parental care, rights of access or maintenance, for example, if you are faced with many (legal) questions in the event of an impending separation.

You can find advice and support here:

The advice centers mentioned above can provide you with basic information about the legal situation. However, only lawyers may provide binding individual legal information. However, these are subject to a fee. If you are on a low income, you may be entitled to advice and legal aid. An application for this can be made to the local court.